Commonly in relationships the same arguments and issues can recur time and time again. Two individuals learn more about each other well over time.
They get to know which buttons to press, ways to wind each other up. And when one person is feeling harmed or disrespected retaliation can appear like a reasonable option. And so a vicious circle can progress.
The issues end up being aggravated when a vicious pattern of insult and counter insult ends up being a routine incident. A couple can become so embroiled in the hurt and frustration of it all that they forget that they were once in love with each other. They both had plans to build a house and life together, maybe have children, grow old together.
Committing to a psychologist that does couples counselling can be an essential step in recovering the relationship. First of all, by making a contract see a counsellor together it, shows that the relationship matters to both of you. You are both ready to make the effort to go and see somebody with a view to figuring out the problems. That is a crucial sign and an extremely favourable primary step.
Relationship counselling is an opportunity to set aside time to visit somebody in a neutral environment for the sole purpose of attending to the problems in the relationship. Setting aside time is necessary because frequently at home personal discussions can be interrupted by family, phone calls, or one person is busy doing the chores or wanting to watch TV soon. Often serious conversations are tried late during the night when both people are tired. Nothing much can be realistically accomplished in those circumstances.
A relationship counsellor can give a chance for two people to learn about each others’ feelings, discontentments, problems. In lots of relationships patterns of behaviour, develop in time. A single person may make all the decisions, and the other accompanies them. This could appear to work well, however frequently both people can end up feeling resentful at the way things occur. Neither person feels that the situation works well or is fair. It has simply ended up being an automatic method of doing things.
Couples counselling can teach a couple to start being open and honest, to take time on a regular basis to discuss how they feel, share with each other what is happening in the different areas of their lives. By believing this way it brings a sense of understanding, living and caring about each other, about being associated with each others lives once more and being a couple once more.